As leaders in our church, Ola and I went for what we call Leadership Summit a quarterly event that challenges those in leadership. At our last meeting, we saw a DVD of Andy Stanley (www.northpoint.org); he pastor’s a large church in Atlanta.

Unlike most leadership summits that speak on three steps for this or 5 steps for that, Andy examine, the type of heart a leader has and how it affects that person’s leadership style and the environment the person is in charge of. He went on that a leader with a good heart will produce or bring about a good organization or home, while an unhealthy heart produces

1. Unhealthy heart (leader) create unhealthy environment
2. Unhealthy environments are usually taxing and exhausting
3. Unhealthy people are comfortable with unhealthy environments. Healthy people find it difficult to exist in an unhealthy environment.

Andy used the words of Jesus Christ that we (humans) speak out of what is deposited in our heart. What corrupts us is not what we take in, but what has being built in our heart.

Conditions of our Heart

Many of us are a product of varying upbringing style that has influenced how we see life. Some never saw love because they came from polygamous homes and they vowed to show love to their own children and they end up showing too much love. Some are raised with guilt feeling; we live our lives thinking we owe everybody because of an incident that happened to us as a baby. We are ruining our marriages because we feel we owe the extended family (have we ever wondered what our kids would think of us).  Some were raised in bad homes and are angry with life or God because they were born into what they consider a bad situation; such people make everybody around them pay for what someone else did to them.

Some lead a very selfish life, it’s always about them and the contributions of others are generally not mentioned. While, some have jealousy, they would not help other grow or celebrate other people’s achievements.  Some are very proud and think they are the smartest in the world, because of their pride they can’t see their blind side and usually would fall.

What is important is that as leaders, fathers, mothers, and pastors and in whatever area God has called you to lead, the question we need to ask ourselves is “What do people around me see about me that I don’t see, and they would not tell me because I’m the leader”.

Years ago, Ola and I, started asking each other this question at least on a quarterly basis “what is it that you would want me improve as a husband or wife”, we also have the habit of asking our kids what Dad and Mom can do better (My kids tell me all the time, we don’t want you to yell at us!).

Are you a father that is angry with your parents and taking it out on your wife and children? are you a wife who is feeling guilty because your parents divorced and it creating insecurity in your marriage?, are you a Pastor who is not secured in the gifting of God in your life, that you refuse to recognize the achievements of the people around you? Are you a greedy leader who thinks Nigeria owes you because you walked to primary school barefooted and a senior punished you in the boarding house?

Repercussion of your Heart’s condition

Unbeknown to you, your heart condition is shaping the future. I don’t know Ibrahim Babangida personally, but every Nigerian can tell the type of heart he has (greedy and dysfunctional people like him flock around him), he presided over what may go down in the history of Nigeria, as the most corrupt government. What his government reminded me of is the McDonald advert of two kids, a five year old sister sharing “French fries” with her two year old brother “one for you and two for me, two for you and three for me”. All of us can also, remember the brief period that Murtala Muhammed and Tunde Idiagbon spent as leaders of Nigeria (What a heart!). I’m not a politician and also do not believe the salvation of Nigeria is in the hand of politicians (the Bible is clear that if the people called by his name would humble themselves, turn from their wicked ways, seek him and then Pray, he will hear them and heal their land – In Nigeria, it is my opinion that we pray but we have not humble ourselves and turn from our wicked ways – humility here is not the false humility we display, humility is, determination to do what God wants, total dependence on God and seeing ourselves not as Bishop this, Dr. that, Engr. Who, etc but the way God see us, which is we are only instruments in His hands).

The heart conditions of most of our past leaders have put us in the present predicament we found ourselves as a country. The days of men who serve with honor and integrity are long gone, men who ask what they can do for their country and not what they can take from the country.

Sorry for my political digression. As a husband or a Wife, how is the condition of your heart shaping your kids and the next generation? Are you raising angry kids because you are not there for them? Are you showing your kids that your job is more important than them? Are you showing your kids that lying is okay as long as you don’t hurt anyone? What are people around you saying about you, that you’re too proud, that you don’t celebrate someone else’s success? That you are greedy? No one is perfect, all that is required of us according to Micah 6: 8 “He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God”    

Curing the Heart

In Psalms 51: 10, King David wrote these words “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me”. Purification of the heart is a daily prayer, that God should heal us of every wound we are carrying with us from our childhood, and that His words continue to cleanse us.

To have healing of the heart, you need to

1. Confess – Acknowledge your shortcoming and confess the hidden and shameful things in your lives that no one knows about, you’ll be liberated. Realize that as humans you’ll make mistakes; just because you are a Minister, Commissioner or a Dad make you perfect. People would follow a leader that acknowledges his/her sin, than one that behaves like he/she is perfect.

1. Forgive – I wrote about this couple of weeks ago. If you don’t forgive, God cannot forgive you, if you don’t forgive, He cannot answer your prayers. The reason, American celebrities are flocking to Buddhist Monks is simple – they live a life of forgiveness, while we Christians give reasons why we can’t forgive.

When you live a life of forgiven others, you are training your kids and the next generation that while there are consequences for actions, we do have the GRACE of God.

Write notes to people who have offended you in life and destroy the note. Remember, it is not about those people, but about you and your heart and your legacy for your children.

1. Live a life of Obedience – As a person of faith; ensure that your boundary lies within the principles of your faith. You cannot do a little of this and a little of that – it causes chaos. 85% of Americans say they are Christians, while only 9% believe in the entire Bible as the word of God, no wonder the kids are confused, because Mom and Dad’s action don’t match what they say, when things gets tough they chose the easy way out instead of the Godly way out. And the kids are taking notes on this life lessons.

I pray that each one of us (myself included) start to consider what we are passing down or how we are leading because of the condition of our heart.

Femi Awodele